Dear diary,, Sat-dayy *19o61o* .
here's to wishing i'd never wake up again..
ohh god. what has happened to my brother.
his brain is like this supermassive blackhole that sucks in all info
& filters it into a void of negativity.
how can a convo that started with tv turn to police & govt. & the anarchy?
i just came out to eat dinner & he..
using his usual gangster-wannabe tone..
accused me in this rude confident way that i changed his channel.
Dude.. i just came out. & im eating.
i was pissed so i just commented that i didn't.
& that this whole situation is nonsensical.
"merepek sey. =_=||"
from then onwards.. he blew up.
wtf?
bro: "don't act like you're so smart.
i know im stupid & whatever but don't you dare talk to me like that.
you don't have to spew vulgarities bla3."
wow. didn't know nonsense is a vulgarity.
& i didn't mean he was nosense.. though now i think he is.
i meant the SITUATION.
if you think you can't deal then what about me?
i have to deal with more people then you.
you just skip school & go wee!~ everyday.
& worse.. you're just adding to my headache.
This one feels like a supernova.
Like my brain is a star that just exploded.
Keep this up & my mind will become a blackhole like urs.
only more active coz i've just supernova-ed.
Then everyone won't be able to out-talk me.
Coz i talk gibberish & will be so confident of myself.
& they won't have a chance to talk.
it's not that i hate you bro.
it's that i love you a lot but you don't know.
& it's that i can't talk sense to you.
& that you're so unreacheable i feel like my head will burst.
you are just effing frustrating.
& to my sis whom i truly love..
no. im not gving up on our friendship.
i just haven't found the right timing, atmosphere & courage to set things right.
i will i promise.. but 1st i need to break down the wall between us.
yes.. i've realised since the 1st time we've met that it was there.
but i just don't know how to be rid of it.
respect just draws the line between me & you beng friends..
maybe what johnson said is right..
im scared to live.
but at the same time what's keeping me from jumping of the building..
is also fear itself.
& my mind.
the knowledge it contains that jumping will only let hell break loose for me.
to my bestfriend & a true angel..
someone i love still & always will..
i need you now.
but why aren't you here..?
why did you go without me?
why didn't you take me with you?
ohh god. what has happened to my brother.
his brain is like this supermassive blackhole that sucks in all info
& filters it into a void of negativity.
how can a convo that started with tv turn to police & govt. & the anarchy?
i just came out to eat dinner & he..
using his usual gangster-wannabe tone..
accused me in this rude confident way that i changed his channel.
Dude.. i just came out. & im eating.
i was pissed so i just commented that i didn't.
& that this whole situation is nonsensical.
"merepek sey. =_=||"
from then onwards.. he blew up.
wtf?
bro: "don't act like you're so smart.
i know im stupid & whatever but don't you dare talk to me like that.
you don't have to spew vulgarities bla3."
wow. didn't know nonsense is a vulgarity.
& i didn't mean he was nosense.. though now i think he is.
i meant the SITUATION.
if you think you can't deal then what about me?
i have to deal with more people then you.
you just skip school & go wee!~ everyday.
& worse.. you're just adding to my headache.
This one feels like a supernova.
Like my brain is a star that just exploded.
Keep this up & my mind will become a blackhole like urs.
only more active coz i've just supernova-ed.
Then everyone won't be able to out-talk me.
Coz i talk gibberish & will be so confident of myself.
& they won't have a chance to talk.
it's not that i hate you bro.
it's that i love you a lot but you don't know.
& it's that i can't talk sense to you.
& that you're so unreacheable i feel like my head will burst.
you are just effing frustrating.
& to my sis whom i truly love..
no. im not gving up on our friendship.
i just haven't found the right timing, atmosphere & courage to set things right.
i will i promise.. but 1st i need to break down the wall between us.
yes.. i've realised since the 1st time we've met that it was there.
but i just don't know how to be rid of it.
respect just draws the line between me & you beng friends..
maybe what johnson said is right..
im scared to live.
but at the same time what's keeping me from jumping of the building..
is also fear itself.
& my mind.
the knowledge it contains that jumping will only let hell break loose for me.
to my bestfriend & a true angel..
someone i love still & always will..
i need you now.
but why aren't you here..?
why did you go without me?
why didn't you take me with you?
LiL♂Miss[V]exatious ♥
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